I guess playing tag is off limits. If you’re “it” and tagging someone else to be “it,” why that’s sexual assault! What the hell are these goddam public schools and the hacks running them thinking? This bullshit needs to stop.

HERCULES (CBS 5) – An East Bay dad claims a game of tag on the playground resulted in his 6-year-old son being accused of sexual assault – a decision he said was an overreaction by school officials.

The parent, who asked only to be identified as Oswin, said his son was accused of brushing his best friend’s leg or groin while the two were playing on the playground at Lupine Hills Elementary in Hercules two months ago.

Oh, and the principle of Lupine Hills Elementary? You can tell that punk is a Major Hoechstetter wannabe. Check this out:

Oswin said his child was kept in the principal’s office for two hours until he confessed. He was suspended, and a sexual battery charge was placed on his permanent school record.

“Vee haff vays off making you talk.”

Oh, but this even gets better:

Legally, there’s no such thing as sexual assault for a six year-old in California.

It wasn’t until Oswin and his wife got a lawyer that the school backed off. District officials declined to discuss specifics.

Like I’ve said before, there are some people in the world that justifiably deserve a severe beating. The principal of this school is one of those people.