Jethro Bodine: “Hey Uncle Jed, I done figured me out how’s to keep the lawn nice ‘n short without even mowin’ it!”

Jed Clampett: “Uh-oh. How do you figure on doing that, Jethro?”

Jethro Bodine: “Awww shucks Uncle Jed, now you’se a gonna find out what a 6th grade ej-uh-cation can do fer a man!”

Jed Clampett: “Well come on boy, hurry up and spit it out. I’ve got chores to do.”

Jethro Bodine: I just grab me this here can of gasoline and walk from one end of the yard to the other, pourin’ the gasoline as I go, like just done. Then I take this here match…”

Jed Clampett: “JETHRO!!!”

Deputies say James Scott Jensen was attempting to start a pile of brush on fire using gasoline and was burned on the front half of his body. The fire happened at a residence on the 2700 block of 183rd Avenue Northeast in East Bethel.

Jensen was airlifted to Hennepin County Medical Center and is in serious condition. Read the whole story

Enough said.